


You've Got a Pizza my Heart

by kratatouille



Category: Ratatouille (2007)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26344318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kratatouille/pseuds/kratatouille
Summary: Alfredo and Colette have been in a relationship for the past few months, but Remy the rat just wants Alfredo to be honest and tell Colette his secret that he has been keeping since they began dating. Alfredo finally musters up the courage to spill the beans to Colette, but doesn't get the response he was expecting.
Relationships: Alfredo Linguini & Colette Tatou, Alfredo Linguini & Remy, Alfredo Linguini/Colette Tatou, Alfredo Linguini/Remy
Kudos: 20





	1. Sixth Month Anniversary

"Wow Alfredo, this wine you chose tonight is absolutely wonderful!" Colette exclaims as she takes another sip. It is her and Alfredo's 6 month anniversary.

"Well actually.....Remy chose it..." Alfredo says, embarrassed.

"Oh.....well, this nondescript pasta dish you cooked is delicious." Colette replies.

"......Remy cooked it......." Alfredo says, his face now flushing red, embarrassed that he didn't prepare anything for their six month anniversary.

"Oh! Well, give my compliments to the chef then." Colette says to Alfredo.

Remy stands peeking around the wall into the dining room of the apartment he shares with Alfredo. He is practically bursting with jealousy, but is glad that Colette is enjoying his dinner. He watches as the two continue talking and work on emptying their wine bottle.

A few moments later, Remy hears Alfredo say, "I'll be right back," and sees him stand up from the table and start walking towards Remy's direction. Remy scurries back to the kitchen and sits on top of the counter. Alfredo enters.

"Hey Little Chef, just getting another bottle of wine," Alfredo says to an angry looking Remy. "Is something wrong?" he asks.

Remy says nothing and instead just shakes his head. He then turns to head toward his room, which is just a windowsill on the stairs that lead to Alfredo's room. Remy's window has a beautiful view of the Eiffel Tower though. He sits and stares out the window, trying to ignore what is happening in the dining room.

About an hour later he hears two sets of footsteps stumbling up the stairs behind him. He turns around and sees Colette leading Alfredo up the stairs to his room, both looking a little drunk.

"Hey Little Chef.......goodnight," Alfredo says with a wink and a smile, as Colette continues to lead him up the stairs. Remy hears the bedroom door close behind them.


	2. The Morning After

"Bye!" Alfredo says out the front door of his apartment, as he bids farewell to his girlfriend the next morning.

Remy is standing behind Alfredo, arms crossed and an angry look plastered across his little rat face.

Alfredo closes the door and turns around to see Remy standing there looking disappointed. 

"I'm sorry Little Chef, I just couldn't tell her!" Alfredo says.

"What do you mean you couldn't?!" Remy shouts. "You didn't even try! You just sat there and drank MY wine and ate MY food."

"It's not as easy as you think! Imagine being with someone for six months and then breaking up with her because you're in a relationship with a RAT!" Alfredo shouts back.

"I don't even know why you got in a relationship with her! We've been seeing each other months before you started dating her! You're just too scared to admit your true feelings for me because you can only see me as a rat! I have feelings too!" Remy replies, turning and scurrying away after he finishes shouting. His orbs begin to fill with tears.

"Remy wait!! That's not true!" Alfredo calls to him, but Remy keeps running towards his windowsill. Alfredo decides not to follow so they can both have time to cool off.

Remy sits at his window. He tries to look at the Eiffel Tower, but his tears blur his vision. Remy thinks to himself, _I was a fool to think anyone could ever love me. Even if I am the best chef in all of France, they all just see me as a rat._

A few moments of crying later, Remy hears Alfredo's voice approaching behind him.

"....Ok see you there in five minutes," Alfredo says before hanging up the phone. "Remy we're going somewhere," Alfredo says and picks Remy's little rat body up and stows him under his hat.

Remy tries protesting, but he has no power against Alfredo.

Alfredo walks towards the door and exits the apartment. He seems like he's in a rush.


	3. And They Were Roommates

"Alfredo tell me where we're going!" Remy shouts from under Alfredo's hat. He tries pulling Alfredo's hair to direct him back towards the apartment, but Alfredo is a man on a mission and he cannot be controlled.

After about five minutes of walking, Alfredo stops and sits down at the side of the Seine River.

"What are you doing?" Remy tries to ask Alfredo, but Alfredo keeps ignoring his questions.

"Colette!" Alfredo shouts and waves his hands to catch her attention. Remy feels his heart sink.

"Hey! What did you want to meet up for?" Colette asks as she sits down next to Alfredo.

"I have something important to tell you," Alfredo replies.

"Oh! That's so great, I have something important to tell you too," Colette says.

They both pause and sit for a moment, unsure of who should share first.

Suddenly, in unison, they both blurt out, "I've been seeing someone else......wait what?" They both laugh. Remy is shocked. Is Alfredo really going to tell Colette about their relationship?

"Who have you been seeing?" asks Colette, still laughing.

"Well.... it's a bit strange..." Alfredo nervously laughs, "Please don't be too surprised."

Colette nods her head and Alfredo slowly reaches his hand up to his hat. He lifts the hat to reveal Remy sitting on his head.

"You're dating Remy?!" Colette asks, shocked. Alfredo nods, embarrassed to be sharing his relationship with someone for the first time. Colette bursts out laughing, and Alfredo starts feeling scared that people view his relationship as a joke.

"That's so funny! Let me show you who I've been seeing," Colette says as she lifts her hand to the hat she has been wearing this whole time. Underneath her hat, was another rat.

"This is Marie," Colette says as she takes Marie off her head and holds her in the palm of her hand. Marie waves to Remy and Alfredo and they wave back. Everyone is laughing.

"What a weird turn of events!" Colette exclaims. "I really enjoyed our time together though Alfredo, I hope we can remain friends."

"Absolutely," Alfredo replies and they hug each other.

"Well I gotta go, Marie and I have dinner plans," Colette says and stands up and walks away into the Paris streets.

Remy and Alfredo now sit alone on the side of the river.

"So....what does this mean....?" Remy asks Alfredo.

"Well....I took you here because this is a special spot," Alfredo says. Remy gives him a confused look. He continues, "This is the spot where I accidentally dropped you into the river on the first night we met. And now it's the spot where I asked you to be my boyfriend."

Remy laughs, thinking about that first night, "Yeah that was kinda funny.......wait what? Your b-boyfriend?"

Alfredo nods.

"Yes!" Remy exclaims ecstatically. He could cry tears of joy.

"Well, let's go back to the apartment then," Alfredo smirks at Remy and picks him up in the palm of his hand and stands up.

"I love you Little Chef, you're the only rat for me," Alfredo says as they head back towards their shared apartment.


End file.
